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Horsemen's Vocabulary Submitted by Debbie
The following are decidedly tongue-in-cheek
definitions that only a horse person can appreciate! Our thanks to Debbie Wiegmann of
Sebastopol, secretary of Golden Gate Arabian
Horse Association and long-time BAEN Member, for sending them in and giving us all a
|Azorturia (Monday Morning Disease) - A condition
brought on by showing horses all weekend. Symptoms include the feeling of dread at having
to get out of bed on Mondays and go to work. Big Name Trainer - Cult Leader:
Horse owners follow them blindly, will gladly sell their homes, spend their children's
college funds and their IRA's to support them as they have a direct link to "The Most
High Ones" (Judges).
Colic - The
gastrointestinal result of eating at the food stands at horse shows
Colt - What your
mare always gives you when you want a filly.
Contracted foot - The
involuntary/instant reflex of curling one's toes up right before a horse steps on your
Corn - Small callus
growths formed from the continual wearing of cowboy boots.
Endurance ride - The
end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you in the woods.
Fences - Decorative
perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against and jump
Founder - The
discovery, of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually in a flower bed or
cornfield. Used like- "Hey, honey, I found'er."
Gallop - The
customary gait a horse chooses when returning to the barn
Gates - Wooden or
metal structures built to amuse horses.
Green Broke - The
color of the face of the person who has just gotten the training bill from the Big Name
Grooming - The fine
art of brushing the dirt from one's horse and applying it to your own body.
Hobbles - Describes
the walking gait of a horse owner after their foot has been stepped on by their horse.
Hock - The
financial condition that a horse owner goes into.
Horse shoes - Expensive
semi-circular projectiles that horses like to throw.
Lameness - The
condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition
in weekend riders.
Lead Rope - A long
apparatus instrumental in the administration of rope burns. Also used by excited horses to
take a handler for a drag
Longeing - A
training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of making the owner spin in
circles-rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so
the horse can go back to grazing.
Over-reaching - A
descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of show
Proud Flesh - The
external reproductive organs flaunted by a stallion when a horse of any gender is present.
Often displayed in halter classes.
Quitter - A term
trainers have commonly used to refer to their clients who come to their senses and pull
horses out of their barns.
Race - What your
heart does when you see the vet bill.
Rasp - An abrasive,
long, flat metal tool used to remove excess skin from the knuckles.
Ringworms - Spectators
who block your view and gather around the rail sides at horse shows.
Sacking out - A
condition caused by Sleeping Sickness (see below). The state of deep sleep a mare owner
will be in at the time a mare actually goes into labor and foals.
Saddle - An
expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security.
Comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.
Saddle Sore - The
way the rider's bottom feels the morning after the weekend at the horse show.
Sleeping Sickness - A
disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal. Caused by nights of
lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes and a zombie-like waking state.
Can last several weeks.
Splint - An
apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the
ways of a horse and his passenger.
Twisted Gut - The
feeling deep inside that most riders get before their classes at a show.
Versatility - An
owners ability to shovel manure, fix fences and chase down a loose horse in one afternoon.
Whip Marks - The
tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider-caused by the trail rider directly in front
of you letting a low hanging branch go.
Yearling - The age
at which all horses completely forget the things you taught them previously
Zoo - The typical
atmosphere around most horse farms.
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